CELEBRITY CLIMATE FEEDBACK LOOP

In what looms as a potentially catastrophic trend in greenhouse gas (GHG) emissions, Jessica Simpson has revealed that she's lactose intolerant.

With millions of teenage morons ready to take the bait, methane emissions from dairy cows are set to trigger a wave of pro-flatulence faux-cool. "Smell that...? ...cappuccino."

Climate scientists have identified a number of potential positive climate feedbacks. Ocean floor gas release from ocean warming and arctic tundra gas release from melting ice are well known examples.

With Simpson and her horde of brainless worshippers, GHG emissions from milk production itself will be exacerbated by the human reaction to milk consumption. Simpson threatens to normalise lactose intolerance - fuelling a rise in dairy consumption.

I suspect this cow-methane-airhead loop has not been factored into climate models. That being the case, runaway climate change becomes a stronger possibility. Simpson is indeed all hot air...